So there have been some interesting developments on the homefront. Well, I guess when I say "interesting", I mean "heartbreaking", "hopeful", "frustrating" developments. Interestingly enough, it's been so interesting that I haven't thought about infertility for over 24 hours, which is nice. This is a long post, but I want to document, just in case things work out in the end.
(Big deep breath in...exhale, deep breath out)
Brief history: J's cousin is and has been a meth addict for about 10 years. She has had numerous children who have, subsequently, been taken from her and who she never sees. She got pregnant again and showed up at the hospital, not having ever seen a doctor for this pregnancy and all the while smoking/shooting God knows what, in labor. She has the baby, stays over night, and leaves--without him. Obviously, charges are pressed, the baby is mandated to the state and is currently in the custody of a foster home.
So I could go and get the baby right? Wrong. J's bitch sister ("bitch" actually doesn't even come close to what I would like to call her) doesn't tell us for 2 months! It's not like we stay in touch with the drug addict, J hadn't spoken with her in almost 8 years. But his sister lives in the same state and stays in close contact with the junkie's sister, so of course she knew exactly what was going on. So the state has been searching for relatives to take the baby...but we weren't called. (I will go in to how angry, violent, and disgusted I am at this at a later date. See post: My evil in-laws). After I thought about it, I jumped on this just to see where I could get. Don't get me wrong, we're trying and I would love to have a baby on my own, but the truth is, I really don't give a flip where it comes from. I mean it, bring a baby to my house. No need to leave instructions. I will send my husband to the store for some diapers and formula and we are set. So, this might be the perfect answer to my prayers. He is only 2 months old, born on Valentine's Day, and his name is James. So after I cried about it for a minute, I went to work. I dug around, made calls, and dumped my situation on any government worker who would listen. Unfortunately, I started my search on a Friday afternoon and well, let's face it, these people are overworked and underpaid, and I'm fairly certain they're not staying late on a Friday night. I left what felt like several hundred messages and desperately needed to hear back from the social worker on the case. Apparently, everyone does and that's the part that holds up the process. So after scouring the web for a good part of the night and early morning, here are the facts:
1. James is in foster care and the people want to adopt him, but they are not related to us/him in any way.
2. He has been with them for most of the time he has been alive, so that might be tough.
3. We do qualify as relatives in Oklahoma and the state (and everyone else I spoke with) seems to be of the belief that it is in the child's best interest to reside with the family. Yea! 1 point for us.
4. The downside is the fact that we live in a different state, so we will have to get a totally separate agency involved in the process and this can take forever. -1 point for us.
5. The father does not want to be involved, but does want to see James in a good home. +1 for us
6. The mother has already had 2 children removed from her custody and she is still using, so her rights are most likely terminated. +1 point for us.
And on and on and on. We have a few connections, one in particular that is one of five top attorneys in OK who specialize in cases like this. We are waiting to hear back from him because, supposedly, he can give us our chances of getting James and what the time frame might look like. Another attorney seems to think we could file some kind of emergency kinship injunction and get him soon, but after the last 24 hours of researching, pleading, googling, and sobbing, I can't see it being that easy, nor will I count on it.
I know this all seems pretty crazy, but I don't care. Something is telling me it's right. I just wish we had been considered from the beginning because he might already be here by now. He might already know me somewhat and we could be bonding. But life is always crazy when it comes to me, so I am hoping with every single cell in my body that we can get James here as soon as humanly possible. I already feel like he's mine. I woke up crying this morning because I have no clue where he is and whether or not he is actually being cared for properly and if he is healthy. Fingers so crossed, they hurt.