Friday, April 8, 2011

I have never been so jealous of a 2ww

That's simply because I don't have one this month.  Ugh.  I screwed everything up this month.  I am taking 200mg of progesterone just because.  I know it's not gonna help because I know I'm not pregnant.  My aunt, who is really more of a mother to me, told me that one of her friends was asking about me yesterday and that she really wished I would hurry up and have some babies. She also added that I would be the perfect mother and, get this, that my life would really be "complete" then.  Complete?  So, if I don't or if I can't, my life will never be complete?  What if I win the presidential race?  What if I inherit $345 million dollars?  What if I discover the cure for cancer?  You mean to tell me, after all that, my life will still not be complete?  Good god. 
I'm ready for this cycle to be over.  I can't workout because if I did and, by some miracle I did get pregnant this month (they would need to study me if I did), I would feel awful if I then lost it because of strenuous activity.  I can't drink, I can't have a cup of coffee.  I haven't picked up a cigarette in 6 years and I would even do that for some relief.  Can't do that either. 
I really hate fertility doctors.  I know, I know.  They're miracle workers.  It's just that I correspond with so many women who have seen countless doctors countless times and they are still completely lost.  Each doctor has a different answer or prescription for them and their so frustrated. 
And, would it be possible to, perhaps, put just ONE MORE billboard pertaining to maternity wards, best places to have a baby, containing cute slogas like "breathe easier", near my house?  It's not annoying at all.  Hell, maybe just put one on top of my house.  That would be great. Jesus, what an industry. 

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